How We Met
Tyler tells our story differently than I do… to him, we met a year before he asked me out. He introduced himself to me at church and immediately wanted to know more… I don’t remember this at all! To me, I got a message from a guy on Facebook that said “hey, Did you move? I didn’t see you at church. Let me know if you’d like to go out sometime,” I didn’t have any desire to go out with him only because my track record for horrible dating experiences is insane… but I went… from then on, it wasn’t magic at all. I only felt comfortable… BUT that was enough to make me be curious. Why was I feeling comfortable around someone? That’s not normal for me!
How They Asked
Tyler and I dated officially for 6 months before my anxiety and depression cut in. I started to second guess EVERYTHING. Obviously, something was wrong because I felt comfortable, right?? So I got scared. I got scared of being happy! I broke up with him and he told me he wasn’t giving up on me. He hugged me and told me to come back when I’m ready. He and I continued to talk and do everything together, after all, he was my best friend. For a year we went on like this… him patiently waiting for me, being my shoulder to cry on, being my movie buddy, my confidant, my laughter, my joy. In that year, he taught me to love myself without relying on anyone else for confidence or validation. He taught me to have faith in good things to come!
He taught me that it’s okay to believe that there is so much better in this world than it is bad and that there is so much better in me than I will ever recognize. That year, though painful, was God’s way of showing me that this man loved me the exact way that God loves me. No conditions. No strings attached. Asking for nothing in return. Because of this and his silent strength (much like God’s), I was able to build a firm foundation of confidence. I could finally build a sturdy, and healthy relationship with myself. After I could do that, I could finally let love in and realize that love IS comfortably uncomfortable! It stretches you, it makes you reach and work and cry and laugh. It defines you in a fire so familiar that, though it’s hard, it is happy. It is beautiful.
Even the ugly painful parts! Tyler patiently waited, guided, and loved me without overshadowing my growth and the strength I needed to find on my own. When Tyler and I officially got back together, that was it for me. I knew that I can’t live without him. I really can’t progress and grow without him. I can do anything on my own and with God, but I can’t learn or fly, and neither can Tyler, without each other lifting each other up. So the proposal…Oh, man…As I said, though love is beautiful, it can be ugly too. And MAN was I being ugly. I had a horrible sinus infection that sent me home from work that day… I got home, drained the NyQuil, and took some Sudafed (NOT RECOMMENDED AT THE SAME TIME. I WASNT THINKING STRAIGHT. I REALIZE THIS NOW)when he got home from work, he was showered, had his cologne on, and actually got dressed up!
This. Doesn’t. Happen. He works construction and at the end of a long day, he doesn’t have the energy to get dressed up. I knew something was up. I asked him why he looked good and he told me that he wanted me to get out of my crusty pajamas, get in the shower, and dress up. He told me it felt so good and that it would help me feel better not only mentally, but physically. I did not appreciate that 😂😂😂 I was fine in my own funk and crusty pajamas. He told me there was no pressure but that if I did, we’d go walk around the LDS temple down the road because it’s pretty and the cold air would open up my sinuses. After a few hours of coaxing, I dry shampooed my hair, washed my face, and put on a sweater…. good enough, right? We walked around the temple and talked about the beautiful architecture and landscaping and dreamed about the farmhouse we were going to hold someday and how the landscaping would have the same peaceful feeling. When we got into the truck to go back home he told me we were going to stop by his sister’s house really quick.
I was just along for the ride so I agreed. We got to the crossroads where turning south took us to his sister’s house and turning north took us to the next town over. He turned north. Now, I was sick and accidentally drugged…I told him his sister’s house is to the right. He told me it was the next street over and went straight instead of left or right. I told him the next street takes you up the canyon and that his sister’s house, which we both had been to a thousand times, was to the right. He said “nope. We’re going straight” I couldn’t handle that. How could he be that dumb? It’s to the right!!! If you go to the next street over, you either go up the canyon or you HAVE to go north and end up in the next town, to which we’d have to drive all the way around just to get back to his sister’s house. He turned north on the next street over. At this point, I told him that he do whatever he wants. I’m just gonna shut up and when he gets lost in he won’t get help from me even though I had grown up in this town. As he’s driving he tells me that he knew how to get to his sister’s house.
He told me that he wanted to surprise me and take me to see the Christmas lights on the pond since I’m a Christmas fanatic. I felt awful because he was trying to surprise me with this sweet gesture. It isn’t uncommon for him to do stuff like that for me, so I didn’t suspect a thing. I told him I was so sorry and that I’d love to go see the lights with him. When we get to the pond, it’s pitch black. The lights aren’t on at all.So he turns on our playlist he made for us a while ago and tells me he’s sorry the lights aren’t on, but it’ll still be a pretty walk. I, feeling like a JERK, grabbed his arm with embarrassment and humility and guilt, and he escorted me around the pond.On the other side of the pond, we see some lights. He asked me what it was and I said “it looks like a nativity,” and left it at that. He made a beeline straight for it. Climbing the hill to get to make our walk to the other side a bit shorter. As he’s climbing the hill he walks straight up to it and I see what it really is.He laid out a blanket, pillows, sunflowers (my absolute favorite, which he always picks for me when we see them grow wildly on the side of the road). There were candles hanging from the tree branches and a sign that read “Grow old with me, the best is yet to be,”. I got chills!!! He holds up a SCRAPBOOK THAT HE ABD HIS MOM MADE FOR ME 😭😭😭 in it were song lyrics from our songs on our playlist, promises we’ve made, and plans we’ve dreamed of together along with pictures of our adventures. On the very last page it said “fill this book with the memories we will continue to make together” as I flipped the last page with pictures on it over, on the other side it said “will you marry me?” and lead the way to blank pages to be filled with all the memories we will make. It’s safe to say I was a mess. I was sick. I was crying. I couldn’t breathe, but he knelt down and proposed to me. My Tyler is the best thing that has happened in my life. He knows when I push myself too far, but he also knows how far to push me when I give up or doubt my potential. He balances me out so perfectly. Truly we complete and compliment each other. He is the left hand to my right hand. Not above me, below me, or in front or behind me, but beside me. Shoulder to shoulder. I cannot wait to be with him for time and all eternity…