How We Met
Bobby’s band, Low Standards, was playing at a bar called Dempsey’s in Fargo, ND. I’m a huge home-body and hardly ever go downtown, but my sister was in town, so I decided to show her around some fun spots. I knew Dempsey’s usually has live music, and it’s a cute Irish “pub,” so we went there. Bobby later told me that he noticed me right away when I walked in. He still remembers what I was wearing.
As my sister and I watched the band warm up, we realized that the songs they were playing were our kind of music, and we were really interested in staying. Unfortunately, our parents texted us and said they were ready to be picked up from a concert they were at, so we were forced to leave.
We almost were ready to turn in for the night when my sister realized she had left her jacket at Dempsey’s. We were excited to have an excuse to go back. Once there, I got bold and decided to go dance. There, I noticed the gorgeous lead singer, and he was smiling right back at me. I couldn’t believe it.
On the band’s next break, Bobby approached me. I was trying to play it so cool. We found out we had both been English majors in college. He mentioned that he was playing in his other band in Sioux Falls, SD (where my sister lives) in two weeks, and no joke, it was the same weekend I had already been planning to visit her. He very smoothly implied we should trade numbers “in case” we decided to go to his show there.
I was so nervous the next day that I decided to find him on Facebook and message him, instead of waiting for him to contact me. He was thrilled I did, and when he asked me to dinner a few nights later over text, I literally pumped both of my fists up in the air in celebration.
By the way–by the time that Sioux Falls show came around, we were already official. ;) And we haven’t been apart since!
Less than two years later, Bobby and I live in a beautiful house with a fenced-in backyard for our rescue beagle Jilly. Oh, and we’re also planning our Halloween wedding!
How They Asked
Bobby and I did things a little backward since we had a wedding date in mind before our actual engagement. That meant I was a ball of nerves for months before our actual engagement, worried that our wedding date would be taken (at whatever venue we chose) before he popped the question. (Side note: I noticed that Halloween 2020 would fall on both a Saturday and a full moon—I LOVE Halloween and all things spooky and Gothic—and Bobby was down for a Halloween-themed wedding, so that was the date in mind.) Soon, it was November, with less than a year to go until our desired date and I kept trying to get Bobby to give me a hint about when he would propose, but he (mostly) kept his lips zipped. Little did I know, he had a bigger plan in mind than I ever could have anticipated.
Since Bobby is a local musician in Fargo, ND, and part of several bands, I didn’t find anything strange when he told me he and a few other members of his band, Low Standards, would be going up on stage to play a few songs during a night out to see a separate local band called Tripwire. Members of different bands “guest star” all the time.
Turns out, Bobby had asked way beforehand if he could sing me a few songs before asking me to marry him. *swoon*
EVERYONE was in on it, and I was oblivious, like a moron. Bobby’s brother, sister, sister-in-law, my brother, and many of our local friends—all were at the bar and in on it.
The first song Bobby (and his brother Taylor and friend Cody, both from Low Standards) played was one Bobby and I had sung obnoxiously in the car many a time: “She’s So High” by Tal Bachman. The teeniest hint of suspicion entered my brain, but I kept calm. After, Cody and Taylor exited the stage, and it was only Bobby and Tripwire up there.
“I’ll Be” by Ed McCain played next. Bobby caught my eye and smiled a lot, but STILL, I was trying my best not to assume anything, because I didn’t want to be disappointed if he didn’t propose. That notion dissipated when he reached down and pulled me up on the stage. He finished the song while slow dancing with me then took a little black box from a friend in the front row.
I told myself that when I got engaged, I wouldn’t do that hands-over-the-face-in-shock move. I did. Hard. There’s video evidence to prove it. Super embarrassing.
Bobby said to me into the microphone, “It’s been the greatest year and a half of my life. I’ve wanted to marry you on our first date. So if you would marry me…” And he opened the box with the most beautiful ring inside and got down on one knee. Immediately I was nodding and laughing, with three hundred people cheering us on. It was a surreal experience! It was only matched by my parents and sister, who live hours away, showing up after the proposal, who had been hiding in the back to watch. Bobby had called them, asked them for their blessing, and invited them to come up to Fargo to celebrate. Upon seeing them, I sank to the floor and cried. He knows how much my family means to me and how close we are, so he knew I would love it if they were there.
The proposal was better than I ever dreamed!
Update: We are getting married at a beautiful event center in Wahpeton, ND, with neat chandelier lights and old bricks and a gorgeous bridal suite.
And yes, we will be getting married on October 31st, 2020. Costumes encouraged. :)