how we met
Tristan and I met at the perfect time. I have pretty much been single my whole life, with the few exceptions of rocky relationships that never lasted more than 8 months. I was pretty accustomed to being by myself, having never really met the right person for me. I didn’t waste time in relationships that I didn’t see a future in. I was tired of making efforts with guys that didn’t do anything for my emotional wellness. So, I was on Bumble and a few other dating apps, but at this time not taking it too seriously. I mean, it’s a dating app, right? I never expected to actually find the right one, as those apps tend to be a train-wreck waiting to happen for most people (for me at times, too).
One day I got a facebook message from Tristan saying that I probably get this all the time (I did) but that he had saw me on Bumble and couldn’t not try to reach out to me. In my time being single, I did hear that quite a bit. But he was HOT. I mean, I couldn’t resist talking to him either. I assumed that he would probably be arrogant because he was so good looking. (Sad, but I was used to it!) But, we began texting and I started to notice ways that he was different from all of the other guys. He was truthful. He told me up front that he was in the process of filing for divorce from his wife at the time because she had 3 affairs. Well, my first thought? Run! Sounds messy. So I was initially very skeptical, but the “other shoe” never dropped. Tristan was respectful. When he asked me out on our very first date, he meant it. He wasn’t wishy-washy, he didn’t beat around the bush about committing his Friday or Saturday night to take me out. He didn’t give me a “maybe”. We made a date and time, and we had plans just like that! He never had to cancel plans, change the time, or make up some excuse why he couldn’t go anymore. Taking me out was his plan! I guess it’s sad to say now, but I was so flattered from the get-go with Tristan because no one had ever respected me, my time, or my conversations like he did. So he took me out to have a few beers and food at World of Beer one night, and I could still tell you exactly which table we sat at on the patio. We talked for hours and I loved listening to every word he spoke as he told me his story. He was transparent about his experiences and openly told me that he hopes to be married again someday and have a family. Maybe it was the soft lit string lights, maybe it was the live music, maybe it was the trivia, or perhaps it was the craft beer, I don’t know. But I remember that night changed my perspective on everything I’d ever known. I had given up on love and didn’t really believe it was in my cards. But that night I remember felt like a dream, because it just didn’t feel real. And that feeling didn’t go away as the months passed. I started to meet Tristan’s friends (who are now mine too) and even spoke with mutual friends about him. It may have taken me some time to fully trust him in the beginning, but it didn’t take too long for those walls to come crashing down. I started to see that he truly was the genuine person I saw in front of me. For the first time probably ever, I felt safe with someone. He was honest and vulnerably open from the very beginning. It took some time for me to fully process everything he’d been through. Who would stray from this dreamboat husband? He’s tall, dark, handsome, successful, driven, respectful. It took me only a little while to see that I am indeed the lucky one who won the love lottery.
I value his experiences, good and bad, because they helped him become the person that is holding my hand today. And he appreciates my scars as well, as they have helped me become the best version of myself as a wife and life partner. I feel solace in knowing that he was ambitious enough to get back up again when he was knocked down, as his determination even in everyday activities still motivates me. He still had the dream of being loyal to someone for the rest of his life, having a family, and keeping each other laughing until the end. It didn’t take me long at all to say that he was the one I was meant to be waiting for, and he felt the same way too. We knew that fate had brought us together at the perfect time for a reason. It was like all of the stars finally aligned.
how they asked
Our group of friends had been talking about doing a couple’s cruise for quite some time. EVERYONE knew but me that the cruise had been planned just so Tristan could propose! It was a total of 14 of us (2 of which surprised me the morning of the cruise!). 14 of our awesome friends helped plan the proposal. On the first night of the cruise, Tristan and I were the first couple to take pictures on the top deck at sunset. Holding it in his hand around my waist the whole time, he got on one knee for our last picture. I’ve never felt so loved!