Melanie and Gerald

How We Met

Ge and I met each other in Accenture, year 2009. We were both assigned to the same team, seatmates, and our interest in travel and photography draw us closer. First impression? He was very serious and quiet. He seldom smiles and never jokes. He’s old fashioned, always wears black and has this confidence or arrogance in the way he presents himself. He seemed to be a good person though, but still NOT my type.

Kidding aside, Ge and I did not have a smooth 2-year dating relationship. We had so many “serious” arguments and harsh conversations. We dealt with a lot of differences and we did not always agree on one decision. Even now, we still have bad days. But this just reminds us that we are imperfect, and yet we are loved.

I didn’t know that Ge was “the one”. Our clash in personalities made me hesitant about him and I doubted our relationship. All the misunderstandings and hardships left me broken and discouraged, and during that time, I was already silently praying for God to make a way to break us apart. I thought that we’re just going to hurt each other more if we continue the relationship.

But God has a different plan. He told me to wait for peace, “A man’s mind plans his way, but the Lord direct his steps and makes them sure” {Proverbs 16:9} and to follow His leading, “Roll your works upon the Lord [commit and trust them wholly to Him; He will cause your thoughts to become agreeable to His will, and] so shall your plans to be established and succeed” {Proverbs 16:3}.

The second time Ge proposed to me, I still wasn’t sure what to say. I love him more than anyone I love on this planet but I was so scared to make the wrong decision. When I asked him why he was so sure that he want to marry me, Ge said: “God told me not to leave you.”

And I called, “God I want that. I need that kind of assurance that You gave him and I want to hear that You also want the same thing for me.” I was confused and I had a lot of questions to God like if we were meant to be together then why are we struggling to make the relationship work, why are we having a lot of disagreements, why does it hurt, and how are we going to live with our differences? It was hard to see clear answers when you’re in the thick of all these but God reassures me that He will protect me and that He wants the best for me. Twice.

“As for God, his way is perfect: the Lord’s Word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him.” {Psalm 18:30}

“As for God, His way is perfect; the Word of the Lord is tried. He is a shield to all those who trust and take refuge in Him.” {2 Samuel 22:31}

Looking back now, I couldn’t agree more! God’s way is perfect and He doesn’t make mistakes. I thank Him for not listening to some of my prayers before. After accepting Ge’s proposal, God confirmed once more that I made the right choice, “For you make him to be blessed and a blessing forever; you make him exceedingly glad with the joy of your presence.” {Psalm 21:6} And I knew that by saying ‘Yes’, I made God and Ge smile. :)

Through all these I’ve realized that it’s not really incompatibility that breaks relationships, but selfishness and pride. And when we have surpassed that through God’s grace, we were able to be more patient and lovingly resolved the issues that come to us.

Our love is more than romance and gifts and grand gestures. Our love is a love of grace, of forgiveness, of sacrifice, of commitment and dedication. Our love perseveres even when we are unlovable. Our love is building a life with each other through the seasons of joy and the seasons of heartbreak. It never gives up, and it chooses to love one another out of what Christ has demonstrated on the cross. And that’s what we celebrated on our wedding day.

how they asked

It was Friday, 12th of July 2013, a month after our 2nd year anniversary when Ge asked me to marry him. Or should I say when I officially said yes? :)

Just a few minutes before midnight, I came out late from work because we had a Production implementation and Ge was already waiting for me outside our office building. We walked straight to the bus stop. That’s when he invited me to go with him in a “beautiful museum” somewhere and said I would love to take pictures there. I know it’s our 25th monthsary and I made him wait for hours but it has been a long day for me and I already feel so tired, so I told him that we’ll just go the next day. He insisted saying that it won’t take long.

That’s when I knew there was something. You know, women have this natural instinct. I’m not saying that it’s always true but when you’ve known each other long enough, a slight change in routine can trigger a hint. Also, Ge is not good at surprises, I always catch him halfway when he’s trying to accomplish something for me and while I appreciate his effort and time, I drive him crazy because I spoil the good part.

I felt that night that he was going to propose and though I have an idea, I don’t exactly know when and how it would happen. That’s the surprise part.

wedding proposal

So there, we went to a hotel/boutique near Clarke Quay and I was brought to a room filled with pink and white balloons, rose petals and candle lights. It was like a scene from a romantic movie. Beautiful and thoughtful.

wedding proposal

He fell to his knees, delivered his speech and popped the famous question. And that was the start of the rest of our lives…

wedding proposal

Just a bit of backstory:
• Ge teamed up with his friend Lea to prepare this proposal.
• They inflated around 400 hundred balloons by themselves.
• It took them 4-5 hours to finish up.
• It was supposed to be a dinner date but since I was held up in the office, the dinner part was cancelled.
• This was not the first time that Ge asked me to marry him. (another reason why I knew!)

wedding proposal

It was actually the third time. :)

I didn’t know what to say during the first and second time. In both times, I was just crying. I love him and throughout our dating relationship, we’ve been talking about marriage every once in a while. But it’s different when you’re actually faced with the situation. Of course, we all want to end up with the person we’re with but I realized it isn’t like a fairy tale or a romantic movie where girls just say YES without any apprehensions.

I’m not sure if it’s just me but it’s one of the most important decisions a person will ever make in their life. So for me, I want to make sure that it’s not just my will. I seek the Lord. It took me days to finally said ‘yes’ with certainty that I want us to be married, too. It felt so good to have God’s blessing and to know in my heart, that I am with the man He chose for me. :)

wedding proposal

I am grateful for Ge who waited patiently for my answer and who never stopped pursuing me. My delay did not dishearten him.