How We Met
December 23, 2011, I went dancing with a few friends at Midnight Rodeo in Katy, Texas. This night was just as any other night out with my girls. We would dance the night away till all hours of the morning. While on the dance floor with a stranger I had just met, I noticed a familiar face on the side of the dance floor that was watching me as I twirled and spun around the dance hall. Once I stepped foot off the floor, this face approached me and asked me to dance. As soon as I realized it was a boy I had grown up with through Jr. High and High school, I quickly said no and walked off. This boy was one I had originally met in elementary school at a church both our families attended. He grew into a cocky, arrogant, and at times harshly rude young man that I could not stand to be around. Upon seeing him I was reminded of all the summer camps we were forced to work together and all the basketball games and practices we had to attend together to be part of a unified team. I went and told my friends who I ran into and exclaimed that I hoped to not be asked to dance again because I feel bad saying no. I also briefly stated that at first sight, this young man had been blessed over time and was much cuter than I ever gave him credit for. I once again was on the dance floor with another stranger when all of a sudden, the song started coming to a close and instantly I was swept into a dance with the boy from my childhood. No was not an answer, because there was not even a question asked. As we danced, we talked and spent two songs catching up with one another. The level of dancing he encompassed was one that I thoroughly enjoyed but was not about to express due to my fear of his cocky womanizing nature being exposed. Once the second song ended, I thanked him, grabbed my girls, and left the club earlier than usual. I told one girl specifically who was driving that night that I wanted to leave before this boy could ask for my number. I told her I knew he would be trouble for me and I wanted to avoid it. Once getting in the car I told my friend we had successfully snuck out and all was well….or so I thought. At that exact moment she told me to look up to my right where the young man was now in my window asking for it to be rolled down. Assuming I would have to turn him down for my number, I cracked the window and told him we were tired and leaving. He then told me he had a wonderful time, enjoyed seeing me, and hoped to run into each other again sometime soon. Willingly, he then left by himself.
In the next few months, this boy contacted me via Facebook and if I chose not to reply, he would send another message. He was trying to get to know me and simply start a friendship, but I was still reluctant to give him the time of day. Finally, Spring break rolled around and I wanted another good dancing partner so I accepted an invitation to go out and surrendered my phone number. From that moment on, I became a huge challenge, but a challenge that this boy didn’t stop continuously pursuing. At times I felt mean for how gigantic of a wall I built up around myself so that this boy as well as no other boy would be able to break down or even peek through. Forming a friendship with him enabled me to begin taking my mind off the fear of a relationship with him, and aided in allowing me to begin helping him. I saw a boy who needed companionship, a friend, an accountability partner, and above all someone to talk to. I knew I could help him and was determined to change his life. I began to fall for this young man the more I talked to him and learned about his heart, faith, and family. I was the first girl he had ever confided in, brought to family events, spent endless hours with, and attempted a spiritual relationship of incredibly high standards. This boy was determined to win me over regardless of the seemongly impossibly high standards I set and the agressive pushing away I created. December of 2012, this young man decided to make things more serious and spilled every secret and truth he possibly could. I spent the next few months learning more about him than any girl probably ever finds out about the man she dates. It scared me, yet made me feel trusted and desired. I didn’t necessarily agree with his past, but I loved his future. He spent this next year talking to me, forming a close bond, and proving to me that he had the heart and desire to become a man in Christ that would be anything and everything to all he encountered. On one of our very first dates he had the nerve to tell me he would wait till marriage to even kiss me if it would prove how serious he was about making me his first and last official girlfriend. The confidence and level of love he portrayed to me of course scared me even more, but with every road bump, trial, and circumstance, I felt God pulling me closer and closer to a leader in the making. After two years of pursuing me and exposing his heart and soul, he also showed me he meant it when he said he wouldn’t allow a physical relationship of any kind until we both knew and felt like God ordained something special between us. I can still remember the day I went to my pastor and asked him for advice about this boy and he told me during one of his sessions with him that he asked the young man why he was working so hard to win over a girl that was putting him through hell and his response was, “Because I love her.” Now keep in mind I had never said those words to a boy nor have I ever heard a boy say them to me… I knew from the first moment we made contact with each other back in 2011 that he would be trouble for me and boy was I right. Finally in 2013, this boy began making leaps toward what I had always imagined my dream guy to be. I was scared more than ever to see him growing and proving every fear that I had to be wrong. He was leading me spiritually, uplifting me emotionally, helping me physically, being the glue for my family, being a friend to my siblings, and inserting himself deeply into my friend group. Just like that first night he didn’t question me to dance, I felt as though he was so sure in what God had in store for us that he didn’t need to ask questions, he again just didn’t accept no as an answer and continued his life with me involved in every step of the way. It took these years to surpass bad habits on both our parts, but once he surpassed each obstacle, he never turned back. Through helping him with his fears, faults, and failures, he began to tear down my own fears, faults, and failures as well. I had never been so cared for by a man. I had never experienced what it meant to be free, open and yourself with a man. This new found gentleman in my life was the first time I ever felt safe. I felt desired. I felt like I was perfect just the way I was. Finally in 2014 I agreed to be exclusive and acknowledge this boy as my boyfriend and other half. I know we basically had already been dating for long before I would admit, but for me personally, it was a long process to get over my past, let go of his past, and move forward to a joint future. I know it may sound hypocritical and awful of me to hold a boy accountable to his past, but I firmly believe that our past is what makes us who we are today and the mold of what we become in our future. I had a strong head on my shoulders and knew exactly what I wanted in a man and would not budge or deviate from what I knew Ephesians 5 says a Christ like man should be. I was on my own journey of becoming a Proverbs 31 woman and didn’t realize that it was the Ephesians 5 portion of my life that needed to be found for my complete transformation to take place into that 31 Christ-like follower. It was through tears, hardships, family aide, and letting go of past circumstances that we both could continue our journey together into what we always wanted to be. We both had always loved Christ and desired a closer walk with him, but we both had a small void that was inhibiting that final closeness. Neither of us realized during that first dance that we had found what that void was. That void was finding the person in life that would challenge and test every aspect of each other and force betterment. It was finding that person that isn’t afraid to hurt your feelings and tell you when to be quiet and just listen. That person that will hold you accountable even when you don’t want it. That person who will dance to no music in public, pull over to play in fountains, car jam to Disney songs, drive from coast to coast just to support your dreams, come over in the middle of the night to pray with you simply because they felt led to, support your family when tragedy strikes, lead you when your heart hurts and you don’t feel like walking any further, pull all nighters with candy just to watch your favorite TV series, financially support those in need, literally give the shirt off their back for a stranger, pay it forward with no hesitation, attend events and concerts, and continually find the abstract beauty in God’s creation.