How We Met
I had just started my own theatre company, and Peter’s younger brother was participating in the first youth production. His parents found out that my help had abandoned me and did that their older son has some technical skills that would be useful, so they would bring him along to the next rehearsal. (His story is that his mom came home complaining about how bullheaded I was, insisting that I could put together a whole show by myself and that he reluctantly agreed to help. 😂) We ended up being a great team and spent a lot of time together fixing up the theatre building, running back and forth to Home Depot, etc. We handled all the wild small business disasters – called the UBD: Urgent Bullshit of the Day – together from floods to terrible neighbors, to painting, to running shoes with no practice. He became my best friend, the person who knew who I was when I was lost; we could communicate with only a look. And I knew I’d finally found my person.
How They Asked
We had planned on going out with friends that night and somehow started discussing getting married while we got ready. Peter wasn’t ready to propose or be engaged. It turned into a fight – one of few we’ve ever had. By then, I was bawling, and I told him that I didn’t want to pressure him to do so before he was ready – I was just so excited for when we could take that step together. Obviously, we didn’t go out. We got in bed instead.
And in the dark, at 2 am, he asks, “Do you want to get married?”
Thinking that this is an extension of our discussion, I said, “Of course, I want to get married. You know I want to get married.”
He counters with, “No, DO you want to get married?”
My heart stopped. Was this that moment?! “Wait, what do you mean? Are you asking me to marry you right now? Is that what this is?!”
I think I said, “Fuck yeah, I do!”
Later, he told me that he thought he just needed me to tell him that the pressure was off – that flipped a switch for him. So there, in our bed, tear-stained, I got to say yes to my favorite dude. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t planned anything, that I was wearing pajamas, that he didn’t have a ring, and there wasn’t a photographer; it is one of the best memories that I have and it showed me what love looks like, and this was a deep, loyal love I got to keep.