Judy and AJ

how we met

AJ and I met on Bumble. I had seriously been online dating for about 5 years and had no luck. I had the habit of crying after every date wondering what God had planned for me (sad, I know). When AJ and I first connected on Bumble, it was mostly me thinking his profile was arrogant so I made some smart ass comment back. I made a comment about his hair and me being a giant Asian (I included a photo of this first exchange). But then he responded back and I was shocked that he was articulate, loved his family, loved Boston Terriers (my last dog was a Boston), and was a Christian. We messaged and talked for hours on the phone every day for about 3 weeks until we had our first date. We were both so nervous and excited to meet.

We met at a Cuban restaurant. The fact that he suggested a Sunday Brunch buffet for our first date was already a good sign. I was excited to pig out lol. My first thought when I saw him was “what the heck is he wearing?” It was super hot that day and he was wearing a sports jacket so I thought he was trying too hard. He seemed really nervous and talked incessantly lol. I finally stopped him and told him he could ask me some questions too. It was the first time I felt comfortable enough to be assertive and vocalize my needs on a first date. He immediately appeared relieved and said he had so many questions he wanted to know about me. From that day, he has continuously made me feel seen and known. He is the first man I’ve dated that is a mix of masculine and sensitive. I am a marriage and family therapist and I’m all about emotions. He doesn’t squirm when I talk about feelings like a lot of men do lol. Our relationship has been based on communication, respect, and reciprocity ever since. He loves me so well and I feel incredibly lucky and blessed to call him my forever. Oh, and I didn’t cry after our first date :)

how they asked

Friends is one of my favorite shows of all time. Throughout our dating period, I would make AJ watch it with me all the time. Yes, we are the cheesy couple that calls each other their lobster. AJ knew how badly I wanted to visit the Friends set at Warner Bros. Apparently, there is a whole tour I didn’t even know about. When AJ set it up for us to attend, I just thought it was a late anniversary gift. As we approached the famous couch at Central Perk, I had one goal in mind: get the perfect instagram worthy picture lol. As we were getting our picture taken, he bent down and got on one knee and pulled out a blue raspberry ring pop (my favorite) and asked me to marry him. I was so flustered and in shock but of course said yes! Then he pulled out the real ring and OMG I was speechless. I knew money had been tight and was blown away at how beautiful my ring was. He had designed it himself. What impacted me more was all the behind the scenes planning he had done. His best friend had been in disguise all day following us on the tour with a camera. AJ had his friend record the entire proposal for us without me knowing. He knew how much that would mean to me. In addition, he had flown his dad out two days prior to drop off the ring (the ring was made in Utah and we live in California) without me knowing. He also had my best friends distract me and throw me off the scent of when he would propose. He put in so much effort and planned every detail to make it the perfect day. I am so excited to be his forever lobster.

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