How We Met
Jeremy and I met through a common friend: Grindr. In case you’re not familiar, it’s a gay “dating” app, much like Tinder in spirit. I was about to go to sleep when the “bleep” of a new message rang out. I flipped open the app, saw a cute guy and thought “Why not?” We were both about to give up on dating for a while to concentrate on our careers, but were each making one last ditch effort at meeting someone. After a day or two of back-and-forth messaging, both of us not into “digital-only” relationships, we agreed to meet in-person for lunch (that’s one step above just a coffee in online dating) the following Saturday. We hit it off, and after a few more dates, we knew this was something special. And the rest is history.
how they asked
For the past few months before the proposal, we had a regular date night every Monday night. It started as heading down to a local bar in the Castro to watch RuPaul’s Drag Race, and once the season was over, we decided to continue on with “date night” every Monday, to at least grab a drink and a quick bite after work before returning home.
This particular day, Jeremy was actually feeling sick in the afternoon and nearly cancelled date night, but something inside him told him not to. This is especially surprising because I had asked Jeremy earlier in the day if he wanted to go on a short urban hike on our date night. I had scoped out a hill in the neighborhood with gorgeous views, but it was a bit of a trek to get there. It was a very weird ask from me, since I don’t particularly like hiking, and it surprised me when he said yes to the hike, because he doesn’t particularly like hiking either.
So, after work, we met at a bar. Jeremy was already waiting for me, nursing a drink. I came up and kissed him hello, then ordered a whiskey on the rocks and gulped it down in one swig–out-of-character for me, but I was nervous as hell and needed some “liquid courage.” It was about 5PM when we got together, but I wasn’t planning to propose for another two hours. I had hired secret proposal photographers to capture the moment on film, and they advised that the light would be best around 7PM (I used the excuse “My coworkers say the view is best at 7PM). I had also made dinner reservations at our favorite restaurant at 8PM, so we couldn’t eat much beforehand either. I had 2 hours to kill, and no good idea how to do it. We ended up walking around, grabbing coffee twice, and another drink before I finally figured it was time to start the hike up to where the photographers were waiting. I’m sure Jeremy was bored out of his mind by that point. We were literally walking around doing nothing.
At 6:30PM, I told Jeremy we should start hiking. I was sure Jeremy thought something was up–I was acting jittery, and it wasn’t from the coffee. So we started up the hike. But we were walking too quickly! We would arrive well before the photographers at this rate, so I kept stalling on the way up. “I need to use the bathroom,” so we stopped. “Look at this house’s architecture,” we paused. We rounded the final curve right at 7PM.
The view was fantastic, with the San Francisco fog just starting to come in–it was perfect. We took a few selfies, with the rolling hills of San Francisco and the Castro flag in the background, and then I “spotted” a large fallen tree branch a few yards away I offered we could sit at (I knew the branch was there–I had scoped out the spot weeks before). As we walked up, I saw the photographers farther up the hill, posing as tourists taking pictures of the view, and a group of teenagers hanging out on a park bench. No time better than the present…!
Jeremy was admiring the view more when I turned to him and said, “Can we talk?” before taking out the sheets of paper on which I had written what I was going to say. Tears welled up in his eyes. Halfway through my speech, Jeremy stopped me to say, “Is this what I think it is?” to which I responded “Yes, now let me finish.” At that point, the photographers closed in on us and you couldn’t ignore the clicks of the camera. “Don’t worry, these guys are here for us,” I assured.
After I got down on one knee and Jeremy said yes, we hugged each other close. Then he stepped back and said, “Wait, this isn’t fair. You deserve to get proposed to also.” He grabbed the second ring in the ring box and got down on one knee, proposing to me.
I of course said yes.