How We Met
We actually met at a wedding in 2014! The photo above is us at the wedding we met at. The bride, Rachele, was my first friend I made after moving from New York to Los Angeles in 2008. Both newly moved to LA, we met working our first jobs out of college at an entertainment PR firm. We became instant friends because her family was originally from New Jersey and as I’m from New York we had a lot in common (like pasta, big families and east coast accents). Flash forward, after years of us being ridiculous single women in Los Angeles, I was thrilled to see her marrying an amazing guy.
I had booked my hotel room nearly a year in advance for the wedding and as the date approached I was having second thoughts on spending Labor Day weekend in a hotel by myself for a wedding because when it came down to it, I didn’t know anyone (aside from the bride and groom) who would be attending the wedding. I decided to invite Stacey, a friend of mine from college, to take the road trip with me. I figured we’d make it into a ‘girls trip’ given the long weekend and that I wouldn’t have much required of me other than to go to the wedding for a few hours and her and I would go shopping and see the sights that Santa Barbara offered.
Rachele and Jordan’s wedding was what many of our friends refer to as “the wedding of the century” – which sounds a little over the top, but it was pretty amazing. Nearly 170 people attended the three-day festivities held at the incredibly breathtaking Sunstone Winery in Sant Ynez (Lauren Conrad got married here the weekend after Rachele, that should explain it all). Needless to say, it was a first-class experience the entire way, beginning with a wine and dessert reception, which Rachele was kind enough to let me bring Stacey to the evening we arrived in town. I figured us single ladies would have some wine, say hi to the bride and be on our way, but shortly after we arrived an outgoing guy named Ian introduced himself to us as a childhood friend of the groom’s and quickly introduced us to his other friends who all met in high school – one of which was Martín. The group was trying to get Stacey and I to come to an after party but I wasn’t feeling it. Though Martín and I chatted that first night, we didn’t hit it off. When his friend Ian (once again, very outgoing) pushed him to get my number, I told him he should get Stacey’s instead (I promise I am a nice person!).
The next day, I went to the church solo for the ceremony while Stacey kicked back at the hotel pool. I headed out the door in the afternoon and told her I would be back in a few hours, little did I know this ‘wedding of the century’ party ended up raging until practically midnight (she has since accepted my apology for leaving her alone in the hotel).
At the church I sat next to a guy and his dad who I didn’t know and was starting to feel a slight panic as it sunk in that my safety net (Stacey) wasn’t there to keep me company! My eyes darted around to see who else I could talk to but it was apparent I was truly alone. The ceremony ended up being by far the most beautiful wedding I have ever witnessed. I’m not a sappy person, nor do I get overly emotional at things but you could actually feel the love in the air. After crying my eyes out watching one of my best friends marry the man of her dreams in 90 degree weather with no air conditioning, it was safe to say – I was ready for a drink.
Walking into the cocktail hour (which really was more like cocktail hours –and also where I could have drank a few less of said cocktails), one of the first people I saw was Martín. He was an incredibly welcome face as I was confronting my reality of being alone at a wedding, which truly is terrifying. When I asked him, “What are you drinking?” He replied “G & T” to which I said, “What is that?” When he told me “Gin and tonic”. I was surprised because A. how did I not know this abbreviation but B. likely because the only person I knew to drink that was my Grandma Helen – which got us talking from there. Both Martín and his group of friends from high school who I had met the night before couldn’t have been more welcoming to my party crashing of their mini high school reunion. My New Yorker self was in full force, being loud and trying to be funny and in the process of me poking fun at myself I remember Martín cracking up hysterically at something I said, in that moment knowing I could make him laugh I thought, I think there’s something here.
When it came time to move to a different part of the venue for the reception I was nervous because Martín and I were sitting at different tables but as fate would have it – the tables ended up being next to each other. It was for the best as though I was promised my table would have ‘lots of single people’ at it, when I sat down it felt more like a couples-only table – the woman next to me was pregnant for God sakes! Luckily Martín and I were able to keep our playful banter up throughout the seated portion of the evening.
After literally hours of ‘TED-talk-esque’ toasts, eating, and even more drinking they opened up the dance floor and Martín was quick to ask me to dance, I don’t think I waited a beat before jumping to my feet. The long cocktail hour gave us both the liquid courage needed to get over any fears we had about being around each other. We spent the rest of the night dancing – and eventually had our fist kiss while dancing to a song he remembers but I cannot for the life of me – a fact he loves to hang over my head and promises he will one day tell me on a “special occasion.”
He lived in Sacramento, me in LA so I knew it wasn’t incredibly ideal but it wasn’t something I was thinking about too much. I did ask him at one point, how far of a drive is Sacramento to LA? He told me “about a 6 hours car ride” and I politely responded, “I’ll fly.”
Later in the night he eventually slid his phone over to me while we were talking and this time I actually gave him my number.
In his mind, he knew he was going to meet someone important at the wedding, he went out and bought a suit for it and was totally ready for the occasion. For me I was blissfully unaware of what was ahead, as in I had no freaking clue. He has since gone back to the place he bought his suit to personally thank the woman who sold it to him and subsequently give her Starbucks gift-card to express his gratitude. I’d like to think there’s a lot more to him than the suit but it sure didn’t hurt!
We went our respective ways when the wedding ended but from the moment we parted, him to go back to his Airbnb and me to my hotel, we ended up texting each other for practically the entire night. The next morning when I woke up with quite possibly one of the worst hangovers of all time I was surprised to see a text from him with a photo he had taken of us together the night before. Though we had just met, the photo looked as if we had been together for years by how happy and comfortable we were together. He was anxious to meet up at the wedding brunch that morning but I had promised Stacey we’d go somewhere else. Before I checked out of the hotel I ducked away to the wedding brunch and was able to see him for a few minutes before driving back to LA. It was clear that what was between us was going to go beyond the weekend. We continued to text and just a few days after the wedding I booked a trip to visit him in Sacramento, which I politely reminded him was “refundable” if our conversations went south between then and my visit later that month. After visiting him that weekend we became “official” though he thought it was a silly formality given it had been clear to us both that we fell in love at the wedding.
How They Asked
Each year since I was a kid my family goes on a trip together on Fire Island (Davis Park, NY). It’s a very special place for us to get away from it all and just lay out on the beach for a week. Martín joined my family and I for his first trip in 2015, it’s where he met a lot of my family for the first time. Martín and I were long distance for the first four years of our relationship (him in Sacramento, me in LA). On September 16, 2018 he made the move to LA. On our most recent trip to Fire Island, we are just coming up on a year of living together. He was the first guy who I ever lived with. We both (to our relief) had been really enjoying our time living together, certainly better than Southwest flights up and down the coast to see each other every few weeks (no offense, love you and your wine coupons, Southwest!). Most of all it felt comfortable and ‘right’ to finally be in the same place all of the time (and not want to kill each other). When we went to Fire Island I was completely distracted by another thing at hand, my sister’s longtime boyfriend had plans to ask my parents to marry my sister – I was overjoyed – but I little nervous for him to ask my parents because I mean, that sounds very stressful (they have since gotten engaged so it’s been one big happy occasion!)! After it began raining at the beach one day, we headed back to the house we were staying in, which was next to another private beach. Martín asked me to take a walk with him over to it. Because it was private property, and because I had to walk off the boardwalk to get there, I was concerned with ticks and put up a little fight. Luckily, not too much of a struggle and we walked down to the other beach. What basic chick doesn’t love a boomerang? Clearly Martín has me figured out. The rest is history :)
My parents and sister and her boyfriend were all on the deck of the house across the beach and were all able to see it go down. Celebrating with them afterward made the engagement that much more sweet!
Here are a few of our engagement photos: